On Being Old -- 2

                                                             

I surrounded myself with old friends. Their kidding and reminiscing prevented me from thinking about the west side of the mountain. The family ties were strong and talk of being kids swirled around me.

My high school buddies laid it on and never let me get away with a thing – just like the old days.

My radio group came in like the affair was black tie -- some even in tuxes. Naturally being the hams they are, they presented me with a poem and a letter from a fictitious friend extolling the pleasures of being old.

The next group was the neighbors who now kindly look after the old one.

I enjoyed myself no end. How rich I am to have these friends, I thought. The candy was strewn everywhere. I don’t think I’ll have any problems navigating this new phase of my life.
Ciao.

On Being Old -- 1

Now that I’ve I crossed the bridge I must change my blog. Of course I will still be looking for daily candy. However, I will be including reminiscences of the past, which goes to show there is no expiration date on my candy. Hence the new title of the blog
This first installment comes from the not too distant past. We begin with the event where some of my friends gathered to help this soul across the bridge to the west side of the mountain – my 70th Birthday Party.

My good friend, Norb Weisman, succinctly out lined life’s travels in a poem he wrote and presented to me on this new side of life. I want to share his verse with you.

                                                       Rights of Passa

The time has come, the walrus said, 

The time to turn the page.

We’re done with ships and sealing wax,

 Let’s deal with youth and age.

The young are light, they effervesce,

For them there's no tomorrow.

The time is now, today’s the day,

No thought of what’s to follow.

The years race by on winged feet.

They heap upon each other.

And suddenly, the young are gone.

What happened here? Oh brother!

I didn’t see those years go by.

I was busy having fun.

But suddenly I turn around and look…

My son is twenty-one.

And thirty-one, and thirty-five.

Good Lord, what shall I do?

My mirror tells the horrid truth,

My God, I’m sixty-two.

The end is near, it will arrive.

I know that now and sure as hell,

Just look…

I’m sixty-five.

I guess it’s really not so bad,

The shape I’m in is great.

Why the heck should I complain,

I’m only sixty-eight.

Sixty-eight! I’m sixty-eight!

Did you hear what I said?

The rite of passage fixes in,

My God, I’m almost dead.

Sixty-nine! I’m sixty-nine!

Where is the humor here?

To face the coming echelon

I feel the grip of fear.

At seventy, you’ve had it pal,

And that really isn’t funny!

No matter, how much hair you have,

No matter, how much money.

Your doctor looks at you and smiles,

“Your tests all came out fine.”

That’s very well for him to say,

He’s only thirty-nine.

You look around at all your friends

And that’s what makes you wary.

The ancient ones, they grip your hand,

Good Lord, that’s really scary.

I really don’t know what to do.

Well, why not celebrate?

I can’t turn back the hands of time.

Rose, you pick a date!

I’ll soon surround myself with friends,

Old ones, old and sickly.

And I will romp and play the boy,

My youth will come back quickly.

But still, one item I must have

And things will be just dandy.

My single aphrodisiac,

Just let me have my candy.

               ***

I needn’t say more.  This day I found my first piece of candy

Ciao.

On Getting Old -- 60

23Oct2009

I’ve reached the bridge today. This last year has passed all too quickly. My fear of this mystical – in my mind – age milestone was, I realize, only psychological but yet all too real.

Looking back I discovered many wonderful things. Fortunately, I began this blog, and it has forced me to look at my world in a different light. I may not have seen the things I did had I not been looking for my daily candy.

Now that I stand on the bridge, I find it solid and comforting. No one knows what lies in store for us on the other side. All I know is that I am a stronger and more content person.

I would like to share some of the important things I found.

Be aware of the things around you. You never know what may be bring you joy and happiness. The candy is every where. It may be as simple as a humming bird or only in your imagination such as the “Lady of the Underpass”.

Food excites the senses. So many good meals provided the candy for the day. Lavish spreads are not necessary. Finding the best hamburger in the city or the savouriness of a hot, cinnamon bun is enough to bring about that daily piece of candy.

Music provided another source for candy, Some music from the likes of the Platters, Bill Doggett or the Flamingos brought back the nostalgia of a simpler time. While the wistful strains of smooth jazz just made you feel good.

Most important of all were the people I encountered along the way. They were the adhesive that held all the other experiences together. The kind words of a nurse or the comforting of a chaplain was enough to turn a sad day bright.

Everyone I spoke with had some words of encouragement to help me. They told me that age was only a number. What was in your heart is what counted.

The most important person of all was my wife, Rosemary. She was always there with a comforting word or an incident to make me laugh. She pushed me when I needed a shove; she hugged me when I needed the care; she was part of every one of the important experiences in my journey to the bridge. She truly was my daily candy.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 59

Yesterday morning on Higgins Rd. while driving to work [yes, I still work part time] I looked at the rearview mirror. Behind me loomed the sky, a brilliant magenta with the early morning sun breaking through. The forest preserve woods exploded in golden browns. A light rain left the air refreshing and clean. From the radio speakers Kurt Elling, a Chicago jazz singer, crooned.


What a wonderful way to start the day, I thought.

Not more than thirty minutes after entering the office, my cell phone rang. Gladys, the nurse at St. Matthew, informed me that my mother had passed away. I told her I would be there as quickly as I could.

The traffic on Rte 25 was incredibly bad. Finally, I turned onto the highway back to the city. Again I faced traffic tie ups. After only a mile of stop and go driving the traffic jam eased up and I drove the rest of the way to the nursing center without a problem.

Along the way my only thoughts were of Mom. I realized her health was declining for the past week or so, but I did not think she would go so fast.

Every little way along the walk in the corridor to Mom’s room a nurse or an aid stopped me for a big hug and a kind word. The hospice people gathered around me in Mom’s room. She lay in bed eyes closed as though she were sleeping without any labored breathing. With a kiss to her cheek, I felt the coolness of her face. Although I anticipated this moment, the occurrence left me empty and sad. The tears welled in my eyes, and I felt them stream down my cheeks.

Finally people left the room so I had some time with Mom alone, probably the last time alone with her. Over the months since she had been at St. Matthew, we were often alone and spoke of the old times -- when she grew up on the near North side of Chicago, her time on the farm in Covert, Michigan, her remembrances of things like the Columbian Exposition and Riverview. No longer will I hear her stories albeit very sketchy due to a failing memory.

I worried about Mom because she was afraid to be alone and afraid to travel to new places. How would she face this ultimate and final trip?

After I returned home I told Rosemary of everything that had happened. I told her how sad I was to start the day with such a happy event and then to have it destroyed with the loss of Mom.

She told me that my mother was telling me she had passed over and everything was fine and beautiful.

I realized my experience occurred about 7:45 AM. Gladys told me she discovered Mom during her rounds at 7:55 AM. Rosemary was absolutely correct. Mom told me she made her cross over and everything was beautiful.

Today the candy was not only bittersweet; it was coated with the pungency of tears. Never the less the candy tasted sweet as ever.

Thanks, Mom.

Ciao

    

On Getting Old -- 58

The count down continues – only three more days to go. I feel the gravel grating at my shoes as I approach the bridge.

One experience, a week ago, helped me to see that the west side of the mountain can have its rewards. Rosemary and I were privileged to share our friends, Delores and Ernie, special day. The happy couple celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.

Approximately 75 people congregated at the Elks Club in Des Plaines to partake in the joyous festivities. Delores beamed while she worked the group, coming to each table to chat with all. Ernie looked the devoted husband as he danced his wife along the floor. One could feel the love exuded by the pair. I’m sure they were as happy today as they were sixty years ago.

So much candy today – all delivered by the elated couple who stood by each other’s side these many years.

Thank you, Delores and Ernie.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 57

The first of October found us with our friend, Sally, on our way to the initial play of the season at the Goodman Theater. Sally, unable to drive downtown these days, has been going to the theater with us for the past couple of years. She appreciates us taking her and loves the theater as much as we do.

This day we are going to see “Animal Crackers”. The attendant parks our car and we stop at the Corner Bakery for a light repast. We are looking forward to the play which was originally done in 1928.

“Animal Crackers” was a loosely written play to highlight the antics of the Marx Brothers. The curtain opens to a lavish, art deco set that is the home of Mrs. Rittenhouse.

A party is planned for Captain Jeffrey Spaulding, the Groucho character, played by Joey Slotnick. Before too long enter Emanuel Ravelli and the Professor, the Chico and Harpo characters, played by Jonathon Brody and Molly Brennan.

We are transported to another time through the magic of theater. The gags are a little naïve and corny but perfect for the time. Not great theater but a true glimpse of life in 1928.

A wonderful and entertaining evening – a truly enjoyable piece of candy.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 56

Our neighbors up the block organized a block party for this day. We moved into our home in 1982 and have never had a block party. So we were looking forward to the event.

At 10:30 AM the street was barricaded with traffic horses at both ends of our block. The kids had the entire street to themselves unimpeded by cars.

As dusk descended, the neighbors congregated in front of the hosts’ house. Music blared from loudspeakers. Tables were aligned and stacked with food – crackers with salmon, hummus, “pigs-in-a-blanket”, polish sausage, potato chips, fudge, cupcakes, on and on. Grills emitted smoke scented of hot dogs and hamburgers.

People gathered in groups and talked, moved to new groups and talked more. A couple moved onto the block the same year we did, and for twenty-seven years we never saw them. New acquaintances were made and old ones reinforced.

The children ran and played and ate during the entire evening – more children than our first year at this residence.

As we toted our table and chairs back home, I was amazed that I had never before noticed all the candy around us.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 55

I’ve been remiss in my postings, but I hope to catch up. You see I’m in the home stretch. The bridge is in sight. On Friday 23Oct I begin the cross to the other side -- my birthday. I will have achieved the big “seven oh”.

The journey and the search for candy has been most interesting. The idea to look for the daily candy has helped me along this psychological trip to old age.

I made a point of talking to people along the way regarding my trek. More than once a conversation turned out to be my candy for the day.

A few of weeks ago I went to the Nessett Center in Des Plaines for my biannual blood test. The time was early morning, 7:30 AM. After being shown to the small room by the young nurse, Mickie, I sat down in the chair and lowered the padded arm support.

I was the first patient of the day for the young nurse. Her smile was infectious. As she prepared the syringe and vials to take my blood samples, we talked of my journey and hunt for candy. She told me not to worry about the big “seven-oh”. After all 70 is only a number.

“But such a big number, when it comes to age,” I said.

She told me about raising her son on her own and the difficulties she faced in today’s world. Her faith in God helped her through the tough times, and she always tried to keep her smile beaming. Keep smiling she told me.

What a treasure to find my candy so early in the day and from one so relatively young.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 54

Aunt Jennie visited Mom at St. Matthew’s about five weeks ago. She mentioned how well Mom was doing, since she left the hospital.

My Aunt lives in Wisconsin just past the Illinois state line. Mom lived in the same community and was a close friend with my Aunt.

A few weeks ago my cousin, Maryann, called to tell me Aunt Jennie went into the hospital. Before I had the opportunity to visit her, she passed. Another small portion excised from my life.

These little pitfalls are strewn along the path we travel. Only when faced with them do we stop to think about the happy times we experienced along the way.

Our families did not have much, but we shared what we did have. We vacationed together in Fox Lake. I remember my Aunt Jennie removing a large sliver from the bottom of my foot that I got from running on the olden wooden pier.

I remember first seeing a television set in a home at my Aunt’s place. The screen was not much bigger than my hand, and it had a huge magnifying glass in front of it.

I remember spending a night with my cousins at their home on the Southside chasing fireflies in the evening.

I remember graduating from eighth grade and sitting next to my Godparents, Aunt Jennie and Uncle Tony.

Maryann and Geri gave me the honor to do the first reading at Aunt Jennie’s funeral mass. We shall remember you always, dear Godmother.

The candy today is a little salty from the tears but no less tasty.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 53

Rosemary and I opened a letter from our grandson. Our daughter, Yvonne, had written a little note that Calvin was doing well in school and had a surprise for us.

Well, we opened the folded paper and our candy for the day jumped out at us. Calvin wrote us a note all by himself.

“Happy Grandparent’s Day! Love Calvin”

Our little four year old is starting to write. We were so proud and happy. The note took a prominent place on our bulletin board.

The children grow up so quickly these days. I don’t remember starting to write until I was in first grade – about six years old. Come to think of it, I don’t remember anything from 66 years ago. It’s getting to the point where I don’t remember what I had for lunch.

Anyway, the candy was delicious.

Ciao

On Getting OLd -- 52

Today’s candy comes from coincidence. Yesterday I listened to an old time radio program called, Chandu, the Magician. This program was a serial of a magician who was trained in the Orient and had special powers. The episode I listened to dealt with Chandu and his cohorts at the Mena House in Giza. How cool, I thought. Rosemary and I stayed there on our tour of Egypt.

That morning at work Krystyna, the owner of the company, mentioned they were going on a cruise and would be stopping in Egypt. They were going to take a side trip to Cairo and wanted to know where we stayed. I told her of the Mena in Giza, which is just outside of Cairo.

Later that evening a friend, Amy, sent me an email asking about our trip to Egypt. She happened to be going with the same tour group – OAT, Overseas Adventure Travels – as we traveled with. Naturally I mentioned the Mena House, since it had been on my mind.

The memories flooded back. After arriving in Egypt on our tour we were taken by van straight to Giza and the Mena House—our first experience in Egypt, and what an experience. The Mena House was once a palace and is located next to the Great Pyramids. From anywhere in the compound one could see the pyramids – a spectacular sight.

The hotel was something out of the Arabian Nights. Beautiful entrance ways from room-to-room like huge carved key holes, appoints of flowers and artifacts lined every wall, and magnificent dining areas.

In the morning we stepped outside and gazed at the great pyramid. At night the pyramids were lit up and looked ethereal. We did not want to leave the hotel, but we knew greater sights awaited us.

What delicious candy today. A serendipitous occurrence that lead to some wonderful memories.

Ciao

On Getting Ols -- 51

I received an email the other day from my Aunt Doris. She informed me that my cousin, Bobby, was diagnosed with cancer. Bobby and I have not been very close over the years. Usually we met at weddings and lately at funerals.

At the first opportunity I called him. He was at dinner and could not talk very long, but long enough to tell me they—the ominous ‘they’—discovered cancer on his lung. He indicated the cancer was of the large cell type, which is slow growing.

A week later I called him. He was in good spirits. His doctor scheduled him for more tests to determine if the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes or brain. We chatted for quite awhile reminiscing about the old days. We vacationed together. I was the best man at his wedding and was the godfather to his first child. The time passed and I promised to call him about his condition.

Two weeks ago we talked and he was really up. The tests indicated that the cancer had not spread. The course of action was to remove a portion of the lung. He promised to call me after he received information about the upcoming surgery. Bobby was very upbeat and positive.

Two days ago I received a call from Bob. After analyzing the MRI’s, the CAT Scan, and X-Rays, the doctor determined that it was necessary to remove one lung. He was devastated. However, always the optimist he said maybe after they open him up things might appear to be less dire.

Where was today’s candy I wondered? After mulling over our conversations the memories of the past were wonderful. I also looked to his strength and optimism under trying circumstances. After all I was only approaching old age. Surely I can over come this blip in the road. Always—some candy exists.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 50

St. Matthew chose a perfect day for their Fun Fest. The sun shone beautifully with a nice cooling breeze. Rosemary and I headed to the nursing center about 10:45 AM. Upon entering Mom's room we noticed her abscence. We went to the front lawn where tents were set up. We wandered around unable to find Mom.

Gladys, one of Mom's nurses, led us to where she sat. A tiny tear filled Mom's eye and her voice quavered slightly. "I didn't think anyone was coming to visit me today," she said. Her spirits brightened, when she saw us.

The rest of the afternoon we spent talking, eating hot dogs and ice cream. We listened to the combo play music along with the singer. Mom stayed out for almost two hours before she tired.

Before going back to the room she wanted to see the animals at the small, fenced-in petting area. "Not too close," she warned. Her eyes opened like saucers as she watched the children feed the llama, goats, donkey, pig, and ducks.

A full day for her and she enjoyed every minute. We helped her into bed and kissed her good-bye.

Most delicious candy today -- seeing her brighten up.

Ciao

On Getting Old -- 49

Once a year the Avenues for Independence, a local organization that aids retarded people, hold a fund raising outing at Arlington Park Race Track. We usually invite a friend to join us for the afternoon. This day our friend, Shirley, joined us.

This past Saturday was a glorious day. The weather was perfect. We arrived at the track early to scan the program. We were surprised to find a table reserved for us. After placing bets for the first race we lined up at the buffet table for some food. Spread out before us were bowls of salads, bruschetta, hot plates of chicken, turkey, pasta mashed potatoes and grilled vegetables.

Since I never tasted a turkey dish I didn’t like, I piled my plate with thick slices of roasted turkey with mashed potatoes slathered with gravy. Needless to say the food was terrific.

All afternoon we talked and bet the horses. Every race found us looking out the huge windows cheering our horses to victory. However, only Rosemary found her way back to the betting windows to collect. In the picture showing the horses crossing the finish line, my horse is yet to make it into the scene. For all I know he may still be running.

Today’s candy had some specials tastes. We helped a worthy cause, while at the same time we enjoyed good food and the company of friends. I’m amazed at the fact that so much candy involves good friends and good food.

This trek to 70 isn’t too bad.
Ciao

On Getting Old -- 48

Mom went into St. Matthew’s Center for Care a few months ago. Prior to her move, the family downsized her belongings from a one bedroom apartment at the Heritage to a studio apartment. Now we were faced with another downsizing. Literally all her belongings had to be disposed.

For a couple of months Rosemary and I lived with all her things in our family room and garage. A woman’s history of nearly 80 years was strewn throughout our house. We rummaged through photographs and clothes, pots and pans, bric-a-brac and jewelry. What a sad series of events.

A decision to conduct a garage sale was made, and we began to sort, label and tag items. Knowing Mom was at the nursing facility made the task all the more difficult.

The eventful day came. All the things were lined up in the garage and driveway. People arrived early and began to sort through everything. My heart twisted as I watched these strangers pawing over my Mother’s stuff, even though I knew we had to do what we did.

Of course, those people who bought and sold items were the first to arrive. But throughout the two days we witnessed people in need pick out those items too expensive for them to buy in the big box stores. And so it went.

Where is today’s candy going to come from, I wondered.

During the lulls we met with people who had stories to tell. The elderly, Polish man sat and talked about his captivity in a POW camp during WWII. He fought with a resistance unit in Poland before his capture. A man hobbled along the tables and then discussed his heart surgery and knee replacement with us. A young lady with her mother was off to college in New York and needed things for her apartment. A retired gentleman who scoured neighborhood sales for old time radios and cameras for his hobby.

So it went from story to story. By the end of the weekend I felt much happier knowing that many of Mom’s things helped people less fortunate than we. At the same time I was able to amass some monies to help defray a little of Mom’s expenses.

I discovered my candy time and again over the course of those two days.
Ciao

On Getting Old -- 47

During dinner with our friends, Barb and Norb, we were asked to stop at their home during the coming week. Norb is a sculptor who works predominately in wood. He is fantastic. [I don’t really tell him that. It goes to his head, and I’m sure you will keep my little secret.] His home and the outside of his home is strewn with carvings, many of which are gargoyle-type works – both large and small. The place is a fantasy world of carvings.

A week ago Tuesday Rosemary and I paid a visit to our friends. Norb ushered us to his basement lair. He told us to look around. We were invited to take any of his works on display. We couldn’t believe our ears. When it came to his carvings, they were all his babies.

Rosemary and I were like kids in a candy store. Norb went upstairs and left us to our choosing. We selected a whimsical little bird, two busts of some Western dudes, an old man with a club, and a one legged monster with one eye and arm.

Norb informed us that the one legged monster is a fachan – a mythical creature from the Western highlands of Scotland. This fairie has a nasty disposition who is very jealous of the gift of flight and hates all other living things. I guess if you have only one eye, one arm and one leg, you'd be nasty too. This carving has taken a place of prominence among my collections.

In discussing Norb’s generosity he informed us that since he was going into the hospital this coming week for open heart surgery, he wanted to find good homes for his babies in case anything went wrong.

We tried to assure him that his type of surgery is commonplace today. Furthermore, the world is not yet ready to let go of such a kind and loving person as he.

Rosemary and I were honored to be the adoptive parents of Norb’s babies. What a wonderful piece of candy from a wonderful friend.
Ciao

On Getting Old -- 46

Our adventure today takes us to uptown Chicago. Rosemary and I boarded the bus behind the Penny’s Department store in Golf Mill. Sponsored by the Maine Township we join the other seniors of the Maine Streamers at 10:30 AM for the first leg of our journey – lunch at the Ann Sather restaurant, famous for their gooey Cinnamon buns and their entrée of Swedish meatballs.

Traffic into the city is horrendous. Road work all around slows us interminably. But a phone call [Thank heaven for cell phones. However did we manage when we had to use the smoke signals called party lines?] from our leader assured us prompt attention from the waiter staff after we arrived.

We sat down and were joined by two nice lady Maine Streamers. Our order was taken immediately giving us time to savor the Cinnamon buns shouting at us from the bread basket. A lunch of Swedish meatballs for Rosemary and turkey for me [I can never get enough turkey – my favorite food.] was placed before us post-haste.

The meal exceeded expectations -- flavorful and plenty. The huge meatballs served over a bed of noodles were made with some special seasoning. The turkey, moist and juicy, was [I never tasted turkey I didn’t like] served with dressing alongside smashed potatoes, and all slathered in gravy.

The proficient service put us back on schedule for the next leg of the journey – the Apollo Theatre and “The Million Dollar Quartet”. The tiny theatre provided unobstructed viewing from anywhere in the facility.

We knew we were in for a rousing afternoon when the disembodied voice from the loud speaker ended its pre-performance announcements regarding cell phones, picture taking, etc. with …if you want to unwrap your candy during the show, don’t worry. It won’t be heard over the music.

The play opened with four young men at microphones and backlit, while the narrator, Sam Phillips [played by Brian McCaskill, told the back story and introduced the cast – Carl Perkins[Rob Lyons], Johnny Cash[Lance Guest], Jerry Lee Lewis[Levi Kreis], and Elvis Presley[Eddie Clendening].

The story takes place one afternoon at the Sun Record studio in Memphis in 1956. This day most unexpectedly the four stars, the innovators of Rock and Roll, met at the studio for an impromptu jam session.

The music [the music our group grew up with] was loud, exciting and memorable. The show opened with “Blue Suede Shoes”. We heard “That’s All Right” and “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” and “Sixteen Tons” and “Great Balls of Fire” and on and on.

The four actors were exceedingly talented. The energetic piano playing of Jerry Lee, the fierce guitar playing of Carl Perkins, the dulcet tones of Johnny Cash, and the leg shaking antics of Elvis got the audience cheering and applauding all afternoon.

To say the least we were all transported back to a most lively time in our life, when the aches and pains of aging did not exist.

Once again eating played a prominent role in the daily candy. Once again the candy was multi-layered – food, pleasant conversation, and a trip down memory lane.
Ciao